Walking in the dark...alone

I've been thinking for several days about trying to post reflections of the last week, but seem to be quite wordless when it comes down to it...so will attempt to sum up some random thoughts of the last couple of days before I crawl into bed here.

Maybe it's because I was homeschooled...I'm not sure why...but I always try to explain to my students why I am leading them through the exercises that we're doing in class. I try to encourage them to have a hand in what they are learning and how they are learning it, and often will stop the class to process about an activity that we finished... Anyway, because of this, activities that are planned to go only 30 min. sometimes go for an hour, and my classes are just accustomed to working off of activities more than textbooks.

Last week during my Friday night class, we were studying a newspaper story in the textbook, and so I decided that this week I would steal Cindy's idea and have a "Current Events" sharing time at the end of the class...ok, well...it turned out to be the whole class time. The students all tried to remember recent news-stories, and they discussed them in groups using English, and then we chose two stories to discuss as a large group. I was facinated by the news that they chose to share...stories of murder were written up on the board right beside "Russel Crowe Gains 25 Kg," and rice poisoning was right next to stories of American politics. The story that the class chose to talk about first though, was the story of an arson that happened in Oosaka recently. The fire apparently happened in a small room that can be rented out and used to watch movies...or as a cheap place to spend the night for business men or homeless people. The fire was lit by a man who was known for odd behavior, and because 15 people died, it is highly likely that the arsonist will be given the death penalty.

I asked my students their opinions about the motives the arsonist must have had, and one lady said very bluntly, "I think the man was lonely. Many people now are looking for good relationships, but they can't find any...so they do crazy things and do not care about any penalty, etc."

Loneliness. The woman's answer shocked me a little. I can picture killing people out of anger, or out of fear, or out of greed...but out of loneliness? Doesn't that seem a little odd?

In America, I never really pictured loneliness as something so severe...yes, in fairy tales people die of broken hearts, but those are only stories, right? But, as I also shared with my students as we talked about this incident, loneliness in Japan just seems a little different. I will be walking down the street, and catch someone's eye, and suddenly feel a stab of pain. A new student can walk into the church and ask about classes, and he or she can have a smile the entire time, but for some reason I will sometimes feel an ache for them I can't explain...

I've given up trying to analyze it, and now simply try to reach out and connect with more or pray for those who make the "pain signal" go off inside of me... But now I find myself thinking of my student's answer--"loneliness"--and I think what sets it off, so often, is the look of loneliness that I see either in their eyes or just in the way they walk.

This country is so rich and healthy in some respects...and so, incredibly dark and painful in others.

I'm not going to leave you with that dark thought though. :)

Yesterday I was reflecting on 1 John, where it says, "God is light, and in Him there is no darkness at all." The Bible goes on to say that if we are in the light, we have fellowship with each other and the blood of Christ purifies us... I was thinking about that idea of walking out our lives surrounded by light--God's very presence and essence. He's not walking beside us, behind us, ahead of us...we are walking inside of Him! How's that for a close relationship?! And then that very Light draws us into relationship with one another as well...

You don't have to be living in the dark. And you don't have to be living life alone. There is light, and there is a relationship with God that is closer than we can fully grasp...and relationships with each other as brothers and sisters...

There's a song that we've been singing here recently, and part of it goes like this:
よの光なるイエス様、愛の光で、わたしをつつみ、暗い心を照らして下さい。
The translation is something like, "Jesus, God of light, wrap me with the light of love, and please shine on my darkened heart." A prayer that fits for us, yes, but one that I also would ask you to pray for so many others too...