From becoming a hermit to playing hostess...the things we do by God's grace!

So, it's not a surprise to many people who know me when I say things like, "I just need a cave to curl up in for awhile!" or "I'm really going to become a hermit...promise!" Lindsey, poor girl, has simply gotten accustomed to me walking in the house and saying something like, "If I don't go into my room and shut the door for a couple of hours, I'm going to bite the head off the next person who speaks to me!"

Many times the wanting-to-bite-heads-off feeling doesn't happen because someone intentionally did something upsetting, but is simply because I'm surrounded by people and conversation quite a bit...and for an introvert, that's difficult in and of itself. A younger guy from Shirone summed it up well in a conversation we had once:

Him: "How was work today?"
Me: "Fine."
Him: "You must be tired. That's hard work."
Me: "Not so tired...it's not so hard. You work two jobs! I'm not half as busy as you!"
Him: "Yeah, but you have to talk to people all day, whether you want to or not."

Anyway, when I lived in Shirone, introversion was not something encouraged, understood, or looked upon in any good light whatsoever...and it's just become natural for me, in some respects, to look at the calendar, see an open day, and plan some kind of event or gathering with people (A year and a half in Shirone taught me that if I didn't plan something, someone else would!).

Anyway, this weekend has been one of those weekends...where there is nothing really special going on, yet I have been constantly biting back frustrated words and retorts when people speak to me and have been dearly in need of some alone time...and in the midst of it all, because there was nothing special planned today after church, Lindsey and I decided to host an Italian dinner party for young women. All week I have been complaining to God a little bit about it, "Why do You let me plan these things!?! I know I don't have to, but these party invitations just come out of my mouth before I can stop them...and I don't want to see people!"

So tonight there were 7 of us gathered around the table, eating, drinking, talking, and playing games...a not-so-normal mix of girls, really. Yet somehow, Lindsey was able to cook amazing food...and somehow, the girls were able to eat, relax and connect with each other. And somehow, during the evening, one who is not a Christian but is studying the Bible, suggested to another girl that maybe she might like studying the Bible. And somehow another girl, who is a Christian, invited a girl to come to Sunday worship, to which the girl replied, "I've been thinking about coming! Maybe I'll see you there!"

I think I know the "how" behind all of those "somehow"'s.

*Happy dance...then, remembering my attitude of the week, a blush of shame*

I know that it's dangerous to just go crazy planning events and things, but sometimes God has ideas for people that I know nothing about...(ok, sometimes?!?! all the time, actually. :)) And often, I'm amazed at how He'll take the thing that I feel the weakest at (hostessing, people, relationships...blah...) and use that for channels to spread His glory and the knowledge of His Son.

How many times has that rung true: "[God's] power is made perfect in weakness"? At least one more time today. :) Praise God for His grace...