Yesterday I was running along the sea, watching huge waves crash into the beach, and it was maybe the first time the thought hit me: I'm going to be leaving here soon. The thought brought me full circle, back to when I was leaving America and I was thinking of Abraham, called by God to pick up and move. In Hebrews it says Abraham could pick up and leave because he knew that he was a foreigner on earth, and was waiting for a home and country of his own--a heavenly one (ok, so maybe that's paraphrasing it very loosely, but that's the thought that sticks out for me when I read those verses).
A home.
Today, since it was a day off (dare I even admit this?!), I borrowed a dvd from Lindsey's collection and watched the second half of the long version of Pride and Prejudice. She had laughingly referred it to me before, after watching Pirates of the Caribbean with me and being on the receiving end of my detailed discussions regarding character development. :) It definitely lived up to her promise--I revelled in watching the girls of this family develop and grow up and get married, and now I'm curled up in my room with my computer reflecting on life and growth and what it means to have a home.
A month ago, when I had just really moved here, I was reflecting upon not getting close to this place--possibly, if I didn't make it feel like home, then it won't hurt to leave it in the spring...at least, that's what I thought. But yesterday running and reflecting on the waves suddenly sprung a thought into my head; I am, truly, at home here. I run up and down the steps of my house with a wild disregard for their steepness, wander through the house at night in the dark without tripping over half so many things... :) and know the shortest ways to good places to get chocolate and eat Indian curry... :)
When did that happen? I wonder. When did I start to feel at home here? I'm not sure...and I say it with a sigh, because I know that the call to move again will be coming very soon, really. Where will the call tell me to go next? I'm not sure. Probably somewhere as wonderfully-specific as "To the place I will show you." :)
To follow. That's what's important...though what that even looks like, often, I don't know. Here in this country there are so many loose ends--discipleship, music, liturgical dance (if you really want a crazy option!). Yet so many of those things I don't really want to do nor can I do them, because I'm not Japanese. So what is my role...?
Not saving the world. Not bringing contextualized music to a culture. Not starting new ministries to reach the youth culture. Just walking to "the place God will show me." Or is that too simple of an answer?
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