Sex, the Holy Spirit, and a new blog

So, often in my life I've thought of God as my Father. The role of a child seems to be one of trust and learning from his/her father. Children don't really have to prove themselves to be loved...in fact, they may run away from the family's sense of values or work or relationship styles and still, they are part of the family. The kids aren't expected to have all of the answers to life's problems...I mean, c'mon, they're just children, ne? And the list goes on...

Disclaimer: All of this, I realize, is based on my relationship with my family and my own father...maybe for other's, a child-father relationship looks a little or even a lot different...but in my mind, this is the picture I get when I read of God being my Father. Safety. Security. Love...and not just any love, but someone who has to love me whether they want to or not. :)

Anyway, the reason for what some people might consider a scandalous title is because during the last week of prayer retreat here in Niigata, we (that being my coworkers here, Cindy and Lindsey, and my coworkers in Tokyo, Jenae and Amber) started to use the image of bride of Christ to describe us as the church, waiting for Christ's return. Suddenly, the mental picture of a sweaty boy running up and getting swung up on his dad's back for a ride was replaced by the picture of a grown woman, deciding to trust someone with knowing her, and deciding to love and commit to that person... She knows that it's gonna be hard, but she still steps down the aisle and says "I do."

I can't really even type that without a shiver of fear going down my spine...that much trust in a person is just plain frightening...to decide to be intimate with someone leaves a person really vulnerable.

But it's a really good difference to look at in terms of our relationship with God, it seems...I mean, the child is just one aspect of our relationship with God...the bride picture maybe starts us more on the road to discipleship and intimacy that we don't really dive into in our regular church services...

The other blog that I have is called "Learning to Fall"...(props to Amber for the title), because it really has been a time of falling, again and again. The last few months have been crazy-wonderful-painful growing-up months for me. There have been a lot of times when I've had to stand up and speak (I HATE speaking and being the leader...blah!...) and say really intense things (I used to value niceness much more than the truth...yeah, that's changing...).

But this "Breaking Silence" comes from two ideas, maybe: 1) the idea that God has called me to not simply be a child, but someone who is grown-up enough to speak. I know that I can either fight and be quiet, or I can continue to open my mouth. Usually opening my mouth involves some kind of speaking that makes me think, "God, why do you have me saying THAT?!?" It feels like the transition from only being a child, to grasping a little bit more of that bride image...I don't have to work with God only as a child...He's given me gifts and wisdom, and I think maybe he wants more from me than just trusting him to take care of me and those around me. And I don't have to work with God as a worker...someone who is grown up, making decisions and working together with a boss to complete a project... 2) If it's not just a child, and not a worker...it's this combination of trust, and love, and support, and fellowship...intimacy, ne. And intimacy, in my mind, seems to involve breaking silence also...

This seems to have a thousand different strands of ideas going in different directions...but I'm gonna let you tie the rest of them together for yourself. :) And if you really want more info on intimacy, let me know...