Random analyzing

So, the last few weeks have held new opportunities in old situations, old opportunities in new situations, and the meeting of new and old friends, relatives, and others...I don't even know if that makes sense, but I'm not able to go into it all more specifically yet. It has been a busy several weeks!

My grandparents ended up staying with us for a week and left yesterday morning, and I have spent practically all of the time since they've left either lying in a stuffed armchair, on the couch, or on the floor. :( Blah for fevers and stuffed noses and sore throats and the like! However, it feels strangely good to just...rest. Everyone has always said to me, "Oh, it's good that you can come home and rest now." But rest has always seemed elusive to me...until yesterday, when not having the strength to do to much of anything and having a headache that kept me from thinking of much of anything was actually very restful. :)

It seems more and more lately that I find myself drifting off of topics in the present to topics in the future...wondering where God is calling me to be, what He's calling me to be doing... I'll be having a perfectly normal conversation when suddenly I'll start self-analyzing, wondering if I'm saying what I'm saying because I'm motivated by this or that...

Anyway, some of this self-analyzing has happened, like normal for me, through someone else's storyline...

So, since coming home, my brother has introduced me to the tv series "Chuck," and often we'll watch an episode at night before going to bed, or something like that. When we were younger, we used to watch episodes of Kim Possible when we got home from work together at midnight, and now it seems like we've slipped back into the same pattern. Anyway, Chuck is wonderful, because the main character is an average computer-nerd guy working with average working-class people who somehow ends up with a bunch of government secrets downloaded into his brain. Once the government learns about him, he has two government agents--a lady and man, Sarah and Casey--who come to watch over him, keep him safe, and use the information he has to help them foil criminals, people taking over the government, etc. Chuck actually really reminds me of my brother, because he's nice and funny and not one to take so much initiative on his own. However, that care and compassion is what gives him the ability to be a hero and save people's lives when he is called upon to do so.

The parallels that I see for me have more to do with Sarah, the lady agent sent to protect Chuck. Sarah is an agent through and through, and on the tv series she gets to beat up almost everyone (that definitely doesn't parallel my life!), but she also has a high streak of loyalty and mercy in her. She does her job because she's good at it, and it's what she's been trained to do, but her dealings with Chuck make her question if there is more to life than her job and ask herself what she really wants out of life. Because she is Chuck's protector, she can't allow herself to get romantically entangled with him, but through the story she finds staying separate from him more and more difficult...in the final episode (from last season), she opens her mouth finally to tell Chuck that she wants to be with him, but she gets cut off by a man telling her there is a problem with the operation, and without a second thought she runs out the door, leaving Chuck behind. The story doesn't end there, obviously, but I was struck by how through the whole storyline, she has struggled with making a decision between a "normal life" and life with a mission...and in the end, it's not even her decision. She just leaves...

I feel like I'm just speaking in parables here almost. :) There is so much that I want to write more plainly than this, but it all seems to be tumbling around deep inside me...so much so that I can't get out words yet, and only stealing someone else's storyline enables me to have some words. :)